Saturday, July 30, 2005

yeahhh america's next top model! haha i shamelessly declare that i love this show!!!! haha kahlen is damn hot!!! haha and tatiana. and there's even a wrestler called michelle hahahaha...
yeah and there was the me so corny shirt!. hillarious.

there's so much i have to say. i don't know where to start. i don't know if i'm reading too much into things and v said that you tend to be overly nice but.. i dunno it seems weird. and wn agrees too. your actions, especially the small ones. make me think. its not that i don't like them. its just. surprising. and its weird cause i actually don't mind. and i feel bad when i'm not as nice to you. like at the bus stop that day. because you know i like someone else. and.. i'm having trouble now. and arrrgh. i dunno. i just hope i can find out exactly what's going on. so i dun lose sleep over this stupid thing... cause i really still like her. but i'm not sure if i.. haiii nvm.

anw gonna cut my hair on sunday! haha i wanna cut centre parting.. and i won't stay over for dr tan's ultramarathon cause my mom won't let me. haha there goes the midnight soccer. ah well. MOTIVATED! shall do pullups every morning before school starting next monday! i shall pass pullups by AUGUST! and 2.4 as well!!!!!!!!

sorry i haven't bought your present yet. haha..

Thursday, July 28, 2005

You are my fire
The one desire
Believe
When I say
I want it that way

But we
Are two worlds apart
Can't reach to your heart
When you say
That I want it that way

Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way

Am I, your fire?
Your one, desire?
Yes I know
It's too late
But I want it that way

Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way

Now I can see that we've fallen apart
From the way that it used to be, Yeah
No matter the distance
I want you to know
That deep down inside of me

You are my fire.
The one desire
You are
You are, You are, You are...

Don't wanna hear you say
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way

Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way

Cuz I want it that way

Monday, July 25, 2005

haha it may mean nothing to you. but then i was really happy when you said i cld call you w. hahaha. nuts right.

anw. lets see. what have i been called. hmm. huaman. fattyhua. blindman by the ac prefects. and just plain hua. oh yah. when the stupid coke commercial was on, chihuahua.

hmm i wish i could find out how far i ran for 17min 22.55sec. without having to ask my dad to drive and let the car calculate the distance.

i hope i pass my 2.4.

i hope i pass my pull-ups.

i hope we'd be able to talk like we used to.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

great. just great. decided to run today in attempt to pass this thursday's 2.4. but then it started drizzling. then my parents came back and i decided hey! why not try out the gym at the condo! so i got them to drive me there haha. and when i got onto the treadmill. guess what? the bloody thing couldn't start cause some INCONSIDERATE BASTARD STOLE THE FREAKING SAFETY KEY. tmd. and someone stole one dumbell too. so i had to be content with the stupid stepping machine. sigh.

i think i'll skip touch rugby on monday and try 2.4.. haha..

and we had a nice quiet dinner at the pizza place at balmoral plaza. yeahh. nice dinner. haha..

v. you really don't deserve this. i hope everything turns out all right with him tmr.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

haha i feel so bad. yan jun got injured cause of me. well technically it's his own fault. he kicked my foot and like twisted his little toe or something. he scared fractured. haha.. but then he had to sit out whole day's training... haiii. SORRY!

and i guess this week's training was quite fun overall.. esp today where i could see how much i've improved since white belt. i mean i could see the mistakes they were making were the same ones i did last time...

something's breaking up. i feel like giving up.

yeah you were right wn.. i've been sighing a lot recently. oh well. happy birthday again! haha.. ahhh bogged down this weekend by tons of stuff can't even meet up with maxwell and he's leaving in september.. got pw. gp project. econs tys. integration. vectors. bahhhh.

surprising how you feel now. its how i've been feeling for the past month.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

hmm i don't think the wounds on my fingers will ever heal completely. haha cause they'll open up everytime i go for training. and i dun wan to put tape cause no grip. so i left a line of red dots on benjamin's lapel.. haha.. shiit i just hope they won't get infected or something.

but its like so cool. yesterday's training. i could like actually see openings. like inuyasha's wind scar.. hahah its like i could see quite clearly when to turn in for low ipon and i did! successfully! 2 or 3 times. against a green belt also. haha.. but then getting thrown by yan jun is damn pain lah. and i rockbottomed someone. haha but carried him up at the waist. not chest. but nvm.

getting back physics in 15min. hope i get at least a B. sigh.

i'm sorry. don't cry and die.

Monday, July 18, 2005

wahhh shiit... i stayed up till like 4.45am talking to wn and reading the book. its damn good. seriously. haha much better than the last one. but its soooooooo sadddddddd. why did he have to break up with her. haha... ah well. it had a lot of more bgr stuff in it too. hope ron and hermione get together in the end (=

anyways. i feel like a stupid worrywart now lah. i mean. ok i dunno if it's the right time and all. but. screw it. i can't take it any longer. everything is gonna come out now.

i like you. plain and simple. that's all there is to it. i don't care what other people say. you may have guessed it already. or you may not have guessed it at all. but it doesn't matter. or maybe it does. and i know you may have asked me to back off. so i will. but yeah. i just want you to know. that i hope this doesn't get in the way of our friendship. and i really treasure what we have... or had.. and i'm sorry if i freaked you out.

i don't know if i let you listen to this..

but i hope everything turns out all right.

The Other Way
by Weezer

I want to help you
But I don't know how
I want to soothe you
But I can't speak out

I have many fears about rejection
I have many memories of pain
I have always been a little shy

So I'll turn and look the other way

Other way
Other way
I will turn and look the other way

I want to hold you
But I am afraid
I want to touch you
But I'm not that way

I have many doubts about my motives
I have many fears about my greed
I have always hurt the one that I love

So I'll turn and look the other way
Other way
Other way
I will turn and look the other way

I have many doubts about my motives
I have many fears about my greed
I have always hurt the one that I love

So I'll turn and look the other way
Other way
Other way
I will turn and look the other way
Other way
Other way

..hold my hand and never let go..

Saturday, July 16, 2005

went for training finally after one WHOLE month. haha and i must say if felt good to sweat and train so much. yeahhh. i love it. haha. i guess. today's training was especially fruitful. my osoto gari like improved a lot. haha. and groundwork was gOOD. i managed to bridge my way out like 3 times. haha.. and i'm so happy i dun stand at the end of the line anymore.

YELLOW

haha yay. orange in september hopefully (= but then i'm always inspired after watching wrestling to try out some wrestling moves. haha

though i know it won't work. i still wanna rockbottom someone. haha i f-ued a sec one before.

evil. who cares.

so many things i wanna do so little time. still have to study somemore. B. O. A. bahhhh. gp and physics left.

..hold my hand and never let go..

Friday, July 15, 2005

i worry too much. over the smallest things. i miss you. i miss what we used to do.

i should listen to wn and be careful. dunno what's wrong with me. sigh.

..hold my hand and never let go..

Monday, July 11, 2005

2nd post of the day. just cause i realised something.

when i get frustrated and pissed off and sad or just feel screwed up. i put in a cd. turn up the volume to 20. and scream along. haha. especially in the shower.

some of the songs i'm screaming along to now:

Mr. Brightside - The Killers
Smile Like you Mean It - The Killers
My Best Friend - Weezer
The Other Way - Weezer
Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard
Only One - Yellowcard.

And my ALL TIME FAVE.
Wherever You Will Go - The Calling.

..hold my hand and never let go..

whoo watched fantastic 4 today. the movie was ok. just ok. but jessica alba is HOT. seriously HOT. doesn't matter whether she's blond as invisible woman or dark haired as in dark angel. SHE IS HOT. haha i'm so gonna buy sin city vcd. haha speaking of hot. she's like almost as hot as the wwe hot pack i got!!!!

there will still be “hot packs” where the entire pack is nothing but foil goodness.

woot. 10 foils. haha although raw deal is dead. nvm. still damn happy. i mean the chances are like 1 in goodness knows how many gazillion BOXES. the only other one i've seen in my life is fang getting one at serene.

this entry is really shallow huh. all guy stuff. haha..

pw pw pw pw pw sucks.

..hold my hand and never let go..

Sunday, July 10, 2005

But I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find, you and I collide

at least that's what i hope. cheer up k. so what if you're short? you can kick their asses anytime. it was a beautiful poem. even though subconsciously made up? haha.. it pains me to see you this way. so

S M I L E E E ! ! !

and this clubbing thing again. i've talked to ppl abt it. consulted them. gave them my view and opinion. and yes. i shall not change my view or break my promise. i shall not change for anyone else except myself. there. now i fervently hope i can keep to it.

got free cheapo $19 sunglasses today. with purchase of my contact lenses. haha.. i was deciding between the sporty one and the movie star one that my mom liked. actually i liked both but then my mom made up my mind for me when she said she liked the movie star one. so i got the sporty one... haha damn bad i know but then. the nanyang optical uncle said the sporty one looked better on me..

may watch fan4 with maxwell tml and maybe my bro. haha.. ah well.. today's a boring day.

It don't do me any good

It's just a waste of time

What use is it to you, what's on my mind?

If it ain't comin' out

We're not goin' anywhere

So why can't I just tell you that I care?

'Cuz I'm feeling nervous

Trying to be so perfect

'Cuz I know you're worth it...

you're worth it...yeah

and singapore's video for ioc was great. glad we could reach out to the whole world. haha boost our tourism industry.

The more you see the less you know

The less you find out as you grow

I knew much more then than I do now

Neon heart, day-glow eyes

The city lit by fireflies

They're advertising in the skies

And people like us

And I miss you when you're not around

I'm getting ready to leave the ground

Oh you look so beautiful tonight...

Don't look before you laugh

Look ugly in a photograph

Flash bulbs, purple irises the camera can't see

I've seen you walk unafraid

I've seen you in the clothes you've made

Can you see the beauty inside of me?

What happened to the beauty I had inside of me?

And I miss you when you're not around

I'm getting ready to leave the ground

Oh you look so beautiful tonight...tonight

In the city of blinding lights

Time...time....time...won't leave me as I am

But time won't take the boy out of this man

Oh you look so beautiful tonight

Oh you look so beautiful tonight

Oh you look so beautiful tonight

In the city of blinding lights

The more you know

The less you feel

Some pray for, others steal

Blessings not just for the ones who kneel, luckily

..hold my hand and never let go..

Saturday, July 09, 2005

ok. we lost quite badly this year. 3rd for guys. even though we SHOULD HAVE WON and gotten into finals. bloody tyco lah cjc. so now next year we won't be seeded and might meet hci in the first round. the horror. and girls didn't win their 3rd place match.. haii. all the pressure was on vanessa. cause we were tied 2-2 and she was last. haiii. nvm.

ya then mr tan talked to us until hougang sec sch closed. and we had serious discussions on the bus and all. abt training and everything. honestly i felt quite left out. cause i mean i was never in a sport. not in ri and everything. jason's not frm ri too but then at least he was in judo. i know i'll never make the school team next year. but at least i hope i can compete in individual. yeah. and i had fun tonight i guess. messing around with han they all. but i know i won't have as much fun as i would have with you. so i'll train super hard. yeah. spurred on by mr. tan. haha he said i'm very strong. i just need to work more on my technique. (= damn happy lah. by that single comment. i want to work hard. haha. so naive right.

and MoS is opening end of year. ok abt this whole issue of clubbing. i'm really not sure whether i should stick to my personal belief and wait till i'm 18 and all. cause. haiii i really dunno. talking to van sometime back made me realise that if i'm caught i have to say bye bye to my scholarship. but honestly i wasn't thinking of that. its like. i've been saying to everyone that there's a reason for the law in the first place. but lately i've been wondering whether i myself believe in what i'm saying. OH WELL. I HAVE DECIDED TO STICK TO MY PERSONAL OATH AND NOT GO CLUBBING UNTIL I'M 18. OK! KICK ME IF I DON'T KEEP MY WORD.

..hold my hand and never let go..

Thursday, July 07, 2005

seriously. i think the world would be a better place for me if EVERYBODY was frank and direct and honest and told me what they thought of me. or gave truthful reasons for their actions. or just spoke their minds freely. i wouldn't have to worry about whether they're lying or what shit. and everything would be so simple. but well it'll never happen so i have to learn to deal with it. i'll appreciate it if yOU would be honest with me k?

anw. i got back econs drq and physics mcq today. did better than expected for both. yay. physics 12/15 and drq 17.5/25. but then ms ngin was saying how in a levels there's no half mark so most of us did better than we should have. haha but good for me. but bahhh why did they have to void question 12. i mean it pulled down my mcq average from 70% to 68%. now i have to score a 17.8 for my essay to get an A. which is highly improbable since i didn't finish my second part the 13 mark question. but smartasses like lh and wes need a 12 and 11 respectively to get an A. i mean they fail essay still can get A. wth. i miss history elec. haha... and wes was bragging he got full marks for source-based before. like whatever.

and talked to jiexuan in the canteen while waiting for my mom today. we were worrying abt how to get home from hougang. ulu ulu place. checked streetdirectory.com gave up on bus numbers seeing how hougang primary IS next to hougang secondary (see lehui) and that lehui knows how to get around from the primary sch.

ok but then what made me thinking was when she said she was worried we get put through killer training programme after the season. actually i don't mind the killer programme. its just the time i need to put in. i mean i definitely want to get into school team next year. i mean it'll be the first time i represent school in a sport quite sad but yeah. but i also have library duties. and i have to give those higher priority. definitely. 100%. plus my studies are quite crappy now. esp. maths. and if i take up s paper i'm just gonna die lah. so how. take things as they come. go with the flow.

and i realised i can never be like my friends who go out practically everyweek. well i could. at the expense of my grades and everything. bu then my mom won't allow eitherway. so i have to learn to curb my jealousy. i won't be able to watch the latest blockbuster everytime it comes out. and i have to deal with it.

why did the crazy man throw the toilet bowl out of the airplane?
cause he was crazy.

..hold my hand and never let go..

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

haiii i know i shouldn't be pissed but i can't help it. i mean the least you could have done is told me you're going out with friends right. didn't have to say you're gonna be tired. ok maybe i assumed you were going to be tired and said but you didn't have to agree even if it made things easier right? and even then. the VERY LEAST you could do was tell me you were going to watch initial d at night right. then i could have watched it in the afternoon with my friend instead of stoning and walking around to ps and cine back and forth twice. or sitting opposite esprit under a tree looking like gay idiots just because we had nothing to do. and to think i borrowed vcds. ok i think i'm being a bit too harsh cause it may have been last minute plans or something but you could at least have told me? and not wait for me to find out on my own. i should have noticed something when you asked me if i was in town.

on the other hand if i was in town. i wouldn't have been able to attend evan's thing. and it wld be quite bad cause i'd be the only one not there. yeah. kinda good seeing everyone again. and how the mothers still care so much for us. even though we did stupid stuff as usual like kicking balls or throwing them at ben ee who's as retarded as ever but i miss him anyways, i guess i had fun in a different way? ok maybe not fun. but the sense of achievement? or fufilment? knowing that you did the right thing. not pangsehing your 7.5 year friends for a one and a quarter month friend? even though i was thinking of psing them at first. but. bah.

maybe i'm just in a bad mood. maybe not. econs mcq 14/20. average marks.

i feel like kicking myself.

..hold my hand and never let go..

Monday, July 04, 2005

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
But I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall


yeahhh i just caught AI on Ch5! hahahaha omg its so so so good. wheeeeeee. can't wait for minority report!!!

..hold my hand and never let go..

Bananas in pajamas are coming down the stairs,
Bananas in pajamas are coming down in pairs,
Bananas in pajamas are chasing teddy bears,
'cos on Tuesdays they all try to catch them unawares!
~don't you just miss them.

Maxwell's back! haha i dunno why i'm happy. but then when i saw he came online at 2am this morn saying he's back in singapore i actually smiled. haha. i dunno if he's my best friend. haha but then i guess i sort of miss him. cause last time if i couldn't find anyone to go out with i could always count on him. i mean whenever i wanted to have fun i'd just call him. haha.. and he's like me la. fat too. haha and he's always ready for a sleepover. i think he's the one person who slept in my house the most. heh. guess people don't like him cause he's obnoxious. but then i don't think so! haha anyways.. hope we can meet up on monday or something.

and jx called me last night too and of course i acted surprised. haha he wants to meet up to.. but frankly i want to meet up with max first. haha shit. i miss crapping with maxwell. staying up during sleepovers and talking stupid stuff.. ahhh. haha ok this is turning quite gay.

monday is pACKED man. morn got library. she wants eVERYBODY to go down. but i honestly think it's no use at all. and waye ning and xinyi share my sentiments.. baaahhhh. last minute tell us. ask us to plan stuff. YOUTH DAY LEH. Come on. do you honestly think anyone will bother to go besides the exco. why not just have the exco meeting and get it over with... but. bah i guess i have to solve the problem of lack of cohesiveness right. INFORM THEM EARLIER. this kind of last minute things will only kill their interest further. i mean like YOUTH DAY. bah.

then have to do pw also. cause tuesday is pw day. and we have to show that bitch kaur something. cause we slacked the whole hols. first meeting ended going spca to play. second ended up ddr, ps2 and baking cookies. haha at least first we got a bit of work done. 2nd was slack all the way. omg. we're screwed. haha.

then. meet up with max or/and jx? cause my oRIGINAL PLANS were screwed by a certain coach. haha nvm. i'm sure we'll work something out somehow. hope we dun have to postpone aGAIN.

yep. oh yah caught war of the worlds on THURSDAY. *GLOATS* haha. it was a damn good show la. like it reminds you how spectacular hollywood can make movies. but i'm ashamed to say i haven't read the book yet. haha. anw. it was super freaky. scary. and gross. but very very good. haha i said that b4 right. welllllll. i mean like the bodies in the river and the blood weeds. *shudders* damn creepy. omg. if i was the young girl. i would have screamed nonstop. but i absolutely love spielberg's movies. he is the master of suspense. the drama and suspense build up in the movies is so good it could kill you. you know what to expect. yet you can't wait for it to happen cause the suspense will kill you. haha i'm repeating myself. but u get what i mean i hope? and the mass destruction and killing. the turning into dust. its so so freaky. makes you wonder whether those machines really could be deep inside earth. the movie is so real. though the ending was crap. *SPOILER AHEAD*

i mean bacteria? cmon the cute aliens who look like ET (coincidentally another spielberg movie, which i love too) have been planning the invasion for millions of years and they could overlook bacteria? my gawd. how lame can you get. i mean i thought my theory of the aliens having a telepathic link or something is more plausible. like they one die all die cause tom cruise killed one. and they ask why the japanese could kill one. haii. i thought a good plan would be to get all those willing suicide bombers to get sucked up and kill all of them. hmmph. anw. there were some twists too la. like the human cages underneath them. never expected that.

ya. confirmed spielberg rocks. i mean. MINORTY REPORT. omg that was good. and AI. that was excellent. and Close encounters with the 3rd kind. i caught that on channel i some time back. i realise i take a liking to subtle creepy movies. that have a possibility of being reality. but i think AI was really good. really. haha i'm gonna catch his movies on ch5 again. though his endings a bit sketchy.hmm.

and i screwed common tests. feel so stupid cause i screwed maths c too when its supposed to be doable. damnit.

ah well. tue wed lessons! thu fri go support judo! yay no lessons. haha.

and i want to catch initial d! if i can't watch with you can i catch it with max if he wants to watch? haha... moo. ok. www.toontracker.com i think. lost cartoons!
pirates of dark water!!!!! OMG i miss that cartoon. i rmbed i borrowed laser discs frm the rental at united square and taped them down. secret squirrel, atom ant, mighty mouse, underdog. omg... nostalgic. hahahaha... shiit i want to watch pirates of dark water. i think its like my fav cartoon. cause it was like the first dark? cartoon i watched. like it actually had death in it. hmm.

..hold my hand and never let go..